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HOW TO TREAT A
LADY
1. When she asks how she looks shrug and say "could be better" this
will keep her on her toes and girls love that.
2. Never hold her
hand. This can be interpreted as a sign of weakness. (Or if she grabs your hand
squeeze hers really really hard until she cries. This will impress her by
showing her what a strong man you are.)
3. Once a month sneak up on
her from behind and knock her over. Girls are like dogs. They love to be roughed
up.
4. Call her in the middle of the night to ask if she's sleeping.
If she is, say you better be. Repeat this 4 or 5 times until morning. This will
show her you care.
5. When she is upset about something, suggest to
her that it might be her fault. This will pave the way for her own personal
improvement and every girl needs some improvement.
6. Recognize the
small things . . . they usually mean the most. Then when she's sleeping, steal
all her small things and break them, because jewelry is for pussies and Asian
ladies.
7. If you're talking to another girl, make sure shes looking.
When she is, stare into her eyes mouth the words "fuck you" and grab the other
girls ass. Girls love competition.
8. Introduce her to your friends
as "some chick". Women love those special nicknames.
9. Warm her up
when shes cold...and not by giving her your jacket... Then you might get cold.
Rather, look her in the eye and say "if you don't stop bitching about the cold
right now you're going to be bitching about a black eye." The best way to get
warm is with fear.
10. Take her to a party. When you get there she'll
have to go to the bathroom (they always do). Leave immediately. Come back right
when the party's dying and yell at her the whole way home for ditching you at
the party.
11. Make her laugh. A good way to do this is if she has a
small pet. Kick the pet. I always find stuff like that funny. Why shouldn't
girls?
12. If you care about her never ever tell her. This will only
give her self confidence. Then you can never turn her into the object she deep
down desires to be.
13. Every time you're in her house steal one of
the following: shoes, earrings, or anything else that comes in pairs. Only take
one of the pair. This way shell go crazy.
14. Give her one of your
t-shirts......and make sure it has your smell on it. but not a sexy cologne
smell. A bad smell. You know what I'm talking about.
15. Titty
twisters and plenty of them.
16. If you're listening to music, and
she asks to hear it, tell her no. This way she'll think you're
mysterious.
17. Remember her birthday but don't get her something.
Teach her material objects aren't important. The only thing thats important is
that she keeps you happy. And your happiness is the greatest present she can
ever get.
18. When she gives you a present on your birthday,
Christmas, or just when ever, take it and tell her you love it. Then next time
you know she's coming over on a trash day leave the trash can open and have the
present visibly sticking out of the can. Girls actually don't like this one that
much but I think it's funny.
19. If shes mad at you for not calling
her when you say you will promise her that you will call her at a certain time
of the day. This will make sure that she waits by the phone. Tell her when you
call you're going to tell her a special surprise. Now shell be really excited.
Now don't call.
20. Next time you are having sex, make sure you get
off before she does, then get off her and leave. Girls love that.
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| hahaha...
summer 
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| feelin like a kebab...
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